“Grown ups have it way to easy…I just wish I could fast forward to the grown up stage” says my young nephew and I wonder if this really is true!?
The following is a rambling written at the spur of the moment:
Today I am a grown up that time is long gone when after a bad incident a simple hug from my mother would convince me of the fact that whatever happened today was just an accident and tomorrow will be better and I will rule the world no matter what. Today a simple failure seems like a mountain too hard to move.
Yesterday a simple candy given by a friend on his birthday seemed enough today, a friend just wishing me on my birthday was the height of cool. Now each time we plan for the weekend party knowing that when our turn comes I would have to do the same. It is evaluated who didn’t turn up why did they give the cold shoulder?
I had friends yesterday who pledged to remain friends with me forever and there were friends for whom I would fight the world, If any one gave the cold shoulder to lallu they were my sworn enemy. There was no greater thing than to pledge eternal loyalty to my friend. A big fight with my best friend yesterday was resolved in a matter of hours for each of us was willing to say sorry…today we have a big ego a mild disagreement leads to a grudge which is a barrier that neither wishes to resolve…”Well I’m done saying sorry to him”, “Why should I always take the first move”.
Yesterday my parents could get me admission into any school that I wanted. Today it is different no matter how much I plead it is just not my efforts but also of those around me that determine where I will land up whether the college will take me or not
The uncles’ daughter who was my first female friend was in my hearts and dreams supposed to be the princess who would rule my kingdom, now I see some of my friends with girl friends and wonder who is it for me and the definition changes each month, I see how compatible the individual is rather than how close the bond could be.
I today have to face a barrage of questions about my career and life in general from interested (for the want of a better word) relatives and associates who even after knowing the entire story insist on knowing it first hand…
Yet I am a grown up…I am in more control of my life…I have more money to spend (that today I think twice before spending is a different issue!)I have friends who can rely on… I know what I want…I know how to get it(that I don’t get it is a diff matter)my life is easy!?
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Its like the inscrutable question as to whether the hen came first or the egg? As a child i always felt that grown ups have it all. They ride amazing vehicles, have money, take decisions and most importantly for me it was the fact that ppl listened to them. There was a certain power, a certain authority that becoming elder brought as part and parcel. One fantasized about the chance to roam around till late at night, watch a movie at home till late at night without parents asserting to sleep so as to wake up for next day's school. For me even those books that a college going kid studied was alluring as that gave me the impression- It has to be something really important, it needs someone tough to crack this book up and i want to be that tough. THe designer clothes, funky look, a sense of pride that moved along with u all seemed like the only possible ingredient of a perfect life.
ReplyDeleteBut as they say, you win some you lose some.Ask any elder and pat comes the reply that I miss those kiddo days, where the worst agonizing pain was the teacher's ruler shot, everything else was so hunky dory. For us parents' word was the final authority and not to any regret bcoz we were sure that they cant be wrong. We, of all the people had the maximum adoration, if not understanding, for the festivals coz of the holidays it brought along. The complications in life didnt seem to go farther than getting out on an underarm delivery in the gully match. Every vocation was a possibility. I cant do it seemed like an alien proposition. Being first in class or in any event in school wasn't scrutinized with any cynicism that I've to prove myself on a bigger stage. To put it in a nutshell, we understood the importance of being earnest and simplicity.
But is it a reality check of our capabilities or burgeoning frustration of the encountered failures that breeds this cynicism when we grow up? I think its a mix of both. The childhood dreams arent the ones of our own, they're imparted into our system, we realize what we like whn we grow up, but even that is influenced, the only good part being we develop a sense of resistance and a view to make decisions.
It is very difficult to decide which phase is better coz its always an amalgamation of both and lets not forget its the same person we're talking about. The solution may simply be an amalgamation with the purity of heart and the acuity of the mind. Making it vice versa can be dangerous.
Coming to the writeup's style, it is one of those things that strikes a chord with everyone coz the topic is close to the heart and m sure everyone encounters this question at some point or the other.
The description of friends' supposed cold shoulder works well for me coz it is the paragon of the fact as to how we add unnecessary complications to the otherwise smooth life. We sometimes beckon trouble ourselves and then crib about it.
Relatives are nothing better than the members of the Communist Party of India who dance their way through like uninvited guests in a wedding to express their views, uncalled for almost every time. But well that's how they are.
The only thing is - let the child within us stay alive but i believe there is no place for his wonderland. After all, even thoughts come at a cost these days.
For u Karan ( wanted a change from Maverick), its a double thumbs up for this post. The spontaneity dominates over repititive tranquility again, but i guess now that's ur style. keep the pen rolling.
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ReplyDeleteYet another blog repleted with the destitution, depression and saturnism of life. What is with you and these words? It seems as if your life has been circumscribed with the pressure of your further education or maybe of that of your peers doing better than you. It hurts to be so forthright, but you simply cling on to a big blob of moroseness, which has coerced me to write this!
ReplyDeleteYour writing is exemplary, no doubt. The style and the precision is unprecedented. On the contrary, your writing depicts a huge portion of yourself to the reader. (Atleast, that's how I feel! - No offence.) I could virtually see you in front of me when I was perusing your post, as if the words were a mirage in a desert or a mirror in front of which you love to capture that "photographic" smile of yours! :P You really seem depressed albeit you dont want to depict reality through evasive expression. Not everybody has there way in life and there can always be pitfalls before a coup. You've got it in you so don't lose hope. (This seems a lecture at a psychology class but I'm sorry - I had to let you know how I felt!) I'm the best example you can consider when you're surrounded with the blues. We're in the same "ship"! (Instead of the "boat" - if you think it's too minuscule a word!) But that doesn't make me depressed - it only makes me think that the glass is half-"fuller"! ;D
I really wanted to write something nice but after reading the post (which was smaller than the usual small posts), I couldn't help but digress my thoughts away into writing the above paragraphs. Please write something more buoyant the next time so that it cheers every one up instead of leaving someone with a canker in his stomach by wondering, "Why the hell am I still alive??"
THE CURIOUS CASE OF KARAN JHAMB
ReplyDeleteKaran jhamb is suffering from inverse progeria. He has a body of a 20yr old but brain of 90yr old.
bhai tereko problem kya hai life se??
why r ur posts so depressing nad??
I was about to stop reading it when i felt it is again a depressing saga of urs.. it ws short so i completed.. but m glad i did complete.. I agree with whatever u wrote but bhai let's have some happy posts about growing up.. let's not regret it..
it ws good but scary to read..
I appreciate the spontaneity though..
well done..
I don't have anything else to say as when i ws asleep yday the second most depressed(and depressing) person in the world has already plagiarized and carved a very nice comment out of whatever i told him that i felt about ur post(line to line.. believe me.. word to word)..
Firstly, to contradict the comments above, the post is not depressing. It is a very legit entry, stepping on the side and just analyzing life in a different perspective.
ReplyDeleteWell written. Summarizes growing up pretty neatly.
Being a kid is always the best part, growing up is not as cool as it appears to be.
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ReplyDeleteshort, straight and striking! i can relate with this so well.. allow me to share this with you..
ReplyDeleteas we grow up, we realise that even the one who wasn't supposed to let you down, probably did..
you'll have your heart broken probably more than once; you'll break hearts too..
so remember how it felt when yours was broken..
you'll cry.., because time's passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love..
so.., take too many pictures, laugh a lot and live like you've never been hurt!!
because every 60 sec you spend upset, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back! :)
Dhoop me niklo, ghataao me nahakar dekho,
Zindgi kya hai kitaabo ko hatakar dekho..
and kk, your comment is a post in itself! ;)
yes, definately you are grown up, but i think ,you think too much about life, nice article keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteManasi C.
if u think tht way,it is gud for u..nyways keep it up!!
ReplyDelete